I still love you. I have all the reasons to hate you, but unfortunately, I still love you.
You wanted to grow. You want to explore places you have never gone before and see every possibility. You want to be complete before you can give yourself completely to someone. I guess I got in the way of you doing things you wanted to do for you to want to go through your life alone.
You decided to end our relationship because you wanted to keep me safe when you face your battles. You didn’t want to hurt me or disappoint me with every broken promises and every little detail that goes unnoticed. You didn’t want me to compromise for you anymore.
When you decided to end our relationship, you didn’t ask me if I wanted to break up. You assumed we have reached our limits. You assumed that I cannot go further and couldn’t take much from you anymore. You assumed that breaking up is the answer to end the arguments and misunderstandings. You assumed that breaking up will save us from shattering into pieces.
But I still care for you and I still want to take care of you. I still want to be there to cheer for you on your proud moments. I still want to be there to try to comfort you when you’re down. I still want to take care of you whenever you’re under the weather. I still want to celebrate every birthdays, every Christmas, every New Year, and even every dull moments that will come. I still want to go on adventures and create memories with you. I still want to have new firsts with you.
I still want to be part of your life because you are so important to me.
You’ve been the highlight of the years we’ve spent together. You held my hand when I felt the world was against me. You were there whenever I wanted to try something new. You were there for me in every milestone. You accepted my flaws as though they were something precious. Even though you didn’t fully understand my passions, you did everything you can to support me. You took me home after every date to make sure I’m safe even though we live miles away. At times I felt like I couldn’t take another step, you carried me on your back so we could get to where we should be. You shared my burdens. You never wanted me to feel alone.
Our relationship was never perfect, but I think that’s what kept us going. We’ve made an effort to make our relationship work and strived to reach that impossible perfection.
I wish I was more understanding when you were vulnerable. I wish I didn’t tear you down. I wish I could take back the hurtful things I said to you. I wish I hadn’t asked or taken too much from you. I wish I saw the great things you’ve done for me than focus on the wrong. I’m sorry I made you feel like you weren’t enough. I wish I could make you stay.
Though how hurt I am from all this, I wish you the best. You have sacrificed a lot for me, and it’s time that I sacrifice for you by respecting your decision. Greater challenges are coming your way into making you a greater person.
I am still here for you and I’m willing to wait for you. I will give you your space for you to grow the way you wanted to. And as I wait, I will try to become a better person as well. I just hope that when you find yourself, you will find your way back.